Even In Nightmares
by Shinigami Shi
Summary: Formerly titled Rest. Between episodes 13-14. Maka is recovering from the fight in London, and Soul is worried. The demon in his mind refuses to be silent, and Soul doesn't know if he can stop himself from consuming his Meister's soul. Hinted Soul/Maka
1. Chapter One

_**Chapter One**_

_"I'm falling down into my shadow,_

_I'm holding my breath..._

_The deadly night is waiting." _

_- _Papermoon.

* * *

Severe first-degree burns on her hands, several large, angry looking bruises on her back and collar-bone, and twenty-something stitches on her left side from where the werewolf had grabbed onto her.

That alone was enough to make Soul twitchy and guilty, but Stein didn't mince words much and had bluntly informed them that she was lucky. If she hadn't been wearing gloves she could have been sporting second or third degree burns, and the werewolf's claw could have easily broken ribs or pierced her lung, or any of the other organs only a hair's breath away from being butchered.

It would be only a few weeks before Maka was back to top condition, but it was too long for Soul. It was _his_ scythe form that had burned her hands, _his_ failure to stop her from tackling the werewolf that had earned his Meister the four deep gashes.

But even that wasn't the main thing he was angry at himself about. Maka had been hurt before - so had he, it came with the job. What he was really, truly angry and horrified at himself about was what had happened while they were resonating.

Even now, standing in front of the stove making stew (because a spoon was easier to wield than a fork), the thought of the momentary insanity that had taken over and and the results - what had almost,_ almost _happened - made him shiver.

She knew as well as he did what he'd almost done to her. He'd _felt_ her sudden fear through the resonance. Her fear of _him_.

He chopped potatoes a little more venomously than intended.

A Meister should have no reason to ever fear their weapon. He'd never hurt her, not willingly, but the surge of power had almost carried him away and he'd only barely been able to stop it. What if he wasn't strong enough the next time?

Worst of all, sooner or later one of them was going to bring it up. It was too important not to, and though Maka had been preoccupied with pain and then in a sleepy haze due to painkillers, he couldn't expect it to last. And even if she didn't bring it up, _he_ needed to. He couldn't let it go, not while it risked his Meister.

_'Stop thinking about it,'_ he chastised himself. _'Freaking out isn't going to help, just get this started and go watch a film.'_

He dumped the last of the ingredients into the pot, put the lid over it, and shoved a random action movie in. He was hoping to drown his worries in mindless explosions, but that hope was thoroughly dashed to pieces when Maka woke up from her medication induced nap and came stumbling out into their living room wearing her largest shirt and pyjama pants.

Soul froze, half a billion thoughts jumbling in his brain, the most prominent one wondering if now was when she would confront him about their soul resonance. Scenarios started flying through his brain. Would she be angry? Most people would be. Would she still be afraid of him? Would she demand a new partner? He didn't like that thought, but at least she'd be safe from him.

She simply sank onto the couch next to him, folding her legs under her for comfort.

"Morning, Soul," she yawned sleepily. "Wha'cha watchin'?"

"... Uh..." Soul hadn't been paying attention. He grabbed the case, "Grand Evil Gamma?"

Maka leaned against his shoulder to look at it better, "Hmm... Think that's Black Star's. We watched it with him and Tsubaki last week."

He vaguely remembered being very tired that night and falling asleep on the couch during the movie.

She was starting to doze again, apparently finding his shoulder more comfortable than the couch. Still half-expecting Maka to snap, he tapped her other shoulder lightly. "Maka, you'll get a crick in your neck sleeping like that."

"Hmm? Mkay," Maka mumbled, not opening her eyes. Apparently, in her sleepy state, his lap was the next best pillow.

Soul felt his face growing warm. "Sheesh," he muttered. "If you're not gonna actually get up, you should sleep in your own room."

She had already fallen asleep again. Soul sighed. Eventually he was going to have to get up to check the food. He hoped Maka had either been awake enough to remember that she had decided to sleep on his lap or drugged enough to not care when she woke up.

Where the heck was Blair, anyway? The cat's magic would have been incredibly useful to have around, but she wasn't there when they got home from London.

Eventually the timer did go off, and Soul held his breath while he carefully lifted Maka's head up and shifted out of the way, putting a pillow under her head without waking her, to his relief. He paused, "You're high-maintenance, you know that?"

She just curled up deeper into the couch cushions and slept on. Soul smiled despite himself and returned to cooking.

When it was finally ready and neatly ladled into bowls, Soul resigned himself to the task of getting Maka up.

"Maka," Soul said, shaking her carefully. "Maaaaka."

"Hmm?" Maka looked up blearily.

"Food's done. You haven't eaten since yesterday, have you?" She'd been too busy being fixed up, and then she'd been asleep.

"Guess not," she yawned and ambled over to the kitchen table, fumbling with the spoon. Stein had given them some burn medicine, to be put on her hands before bandaging them. The result was that they didn't hurt as much as they would have and they were healing faster, but Maka was lacking mobility. "Itadakimasu~"

She still looked pained by the action of using her hands. It made him cringe, but he knew better than to offer to feed her. Even on painkillers, Maka was fiercely independent and would probably chop him. And chopping him would be worse for her hands then just eating her own food. He kept quiet.

When she'd finally managed to manoeuvre enough food into her mouth to be satisfied, she thanked him sleepily and went back to her room to continue sleeping off the daze of medication.

And again, Soul was left with his thoughts, with only the little demon's whispers to keep him company.

* * *

_**A/N: **_Welcome to _Even In Nightmares_, formerly known as _Rest_, until I decided it didn't really suit the story. I'm sorry for any confusion that may have caused. I also cannot think of good chapter names. If anyone has suggestions, let me know!

This is the _revised_ version, edited, with some new scenes, some changes, and an UK-English spellcheck. Also note that in my mind, Soul is from England, because Evans is an English last name. (Anyway, can you imagine Soul with an English accent? _Priceless._)

Also I'm totally lame and I feel like quoting Tommy Heavenly6 at the beginnings of the chapters. Yay me? I love her music, even if her English is iffy sometimes... Anyway her songs almost all remind me of Soul Eater in some ways. Heck in half of the music videos she's even swinging a scythe around!

English translations of Tommy Heavenly6's songs are a mixture of various online sources and my own interpretations. Because I actually speak Japanese pretty well.


	2. Chapter Two

_**Chapter Two**_

_"Look up at the dark sky (Baby, for you...)_

_Continue forwards, lift up your head (I'm here for you...)_

_Pack away your persistent thoughts into the suitcase_

_Step forwards, clear away the darkness in your heart..."_

- Pray, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_"No! Don't!" His Meister's voice, high, terrified. The only thing in this never-ending darkness. The light was above. **Maka** was above, but he couldn't go. He'd rather stay in the darkness for all eternity than face what would happen if he went through the light. But something was pulling him up and he couldn't fight it._

_"No!" He yelled in vain, struggling to go back into the painful, scary darkness. "No, I don't want to!"_

_Still he drew closer and closer to the light, fighting a current that was winning._

_She was crying out again. "Soul!" followed by a heart-wrenching scream._

_"Maka!"_

His breath came out in ragged gasps as he tumbled out of bed with a loud thud. His covers were tangled up in his limbs and drenched in sweat. His eyes stung. The dream had brought him to tears this time. He tried to stop, to tell himself that crying wasn't cool, but the sounds of his dream were still ringing in his ears, bringing with it, as usual, the vision of what happened next in the dream, what always happened. He shuddered, still breathing as if he'd been running, every breath painful.

This time, though, he also remembered the fight against the werewolf. He remembered the elation, the power flowing through his veins and soul, the feeling of absolute freedom, the insanity. The feeling of his twisted soul stretching out to envelope Maka's, seeking to consume it. Her terror at the sensation that had stabbed through him as painfully as a jagged sword and made him realize what he had been doing. It terrified him, how easily he started to slip, how nice it felt, how close he came to devouring his partner, how he had almost extinguished that small, beautiful soul.

He gripped his hair, choking down a sob. What was wrong with him? Why was this happening?

* * *

The smell of eggs and bacon tickled her nostrils, slowly dragging her out of her sleep. She still felt a little bit groggy, but Shibusen'd had eight hundred years to study medicine and she was already well on the way to being healed and the meds that had made her so sleepy were no longer required. She was glad of that. The only thing she could pick out of the haze was a vague idea that Soul had made her some food. She couldn't remember what she had eaten, though.

She gingerly clambered out of bed and stretched. Her muscles pulled at the stitches holding shut the gashes, and she let out a squeak of pain.

"Maka, you okay?"

Somehow, Soul had managed to know precisely when she was hurt or in discomfort. He looked a little like a harried housewife, an apron over his clothes and an apparently forgotten spatula in hand. It wasn't unusual. They were Shibusen students, they got hurt sometimes. It wasn't the first time Soul had abandoned breakfast to check on her.

But it _was_ the first time he'd phrased it that way.

After they'd had time to calm down after a battle, he didn't express his worry so directly. Usually he'd say something like "You're gonna pull your stitches, bookworm" or "Oi, we're gonna have to wait even longer to go on another mission if you keep that up". That was the way he was. He knew that she knew he wasn't fooling anyone with his 'cool guy' attitude.

But he hadn't bothered this time. He'd shown nothing but worry.

She slowly lowered her arms, trying to ignore the pain as she examined him carefully.

"Maka?" more worry, at her lack of response. Nervousness started mingling with the worry in the air until it was almost tangible. Maka narrowed her eyes, and strode forward. She knew her partner, and she could feel his wavelengths - what he was feeling - but she couldn't tell _why_. So she went forward, hoping to find some kind of visual clue as to what was bugging him. She couldn't help but be annoyed. What was he doing worrying about her when something was wrong with him?

He seemed to get more nervous with every step. He was gripping the spatula so tightly that his knuckles were turning white and his arm was trembling. Was he scared? That was even more reason to try to figure out what was wrong.

"Maka, what are you-"

Ah, there was that visual clue.

"Your eyes are bloodshot."

"Eh?" he said blankly. "That's it?"

It was her turn to be confused, "What else would it be? What's wrong? You're shaking," She put a hand on his shoulder in concern.

Soul opened and closed his mouth a few times. Maka waited, frowning and concerned. He was starting to sweat, now.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Soul had never looked so relieved to hear the smoke alarm going off. "Ack! Breakfast!" He hurried out of the room.

"Ah! Soul!"

"Be careful not to pull your stitches while you're changing!"

"B-but Soul!"

* * *

Soul tried to calm his heart and remember how to breath as he dumped out the burned eggs and started again. She'd been angry about something and the first thing to come to mind was what he'd been worrying about for days. Why hadn't she confronted him? That should have been the first thing on her mind when the medication had worn off. She had been afraid of him when they had resonated so why the hell wasn't she now? Maka wasn't stupid, she definitely knew what had happened, so why hadn't she said anything?

Had she simply forgotten, with the haze of pain and painkillers that had followed? He wasn't sure if anyone could _forget_ that kind of thing. She trusted him with her life and he had, however unwillingly, betrayed that. If she had somehow forgotten, then he had to be the one to confront her about it. He couldn't let it happen again. Resonating with him had become dangerous and he would rather die than let her come to harm.

Dread twisted in his gut. He didn't want to stop being her partner. What if she hated him for it, like he already hated himself?

The smell of burning eggs reached his nose again and he cursed loudly, scooping the blackened eggs into the trash can again.

He had never been so glad to hear a knock at the door as he had been in that moment. He shifted the frying pan to a cool burner and opened the door to find Black Star standing there, obviously impatient for the door to be opened. Tsubaki stood behind him, dutiful as always.

"The Great Black Star has arrived!" Black Star declared, as if it needed saying. Soul was happy to see them. Maka wasn't going to confront him about how exhausted he looked while they were all there unless he acted _really _weird. She had a weird code in that way, that their problems were their own. He was saved from having to think about what he would say to Maka, at least for the time being.

"I don't know if you've already eaten or not," Tsubaki said, holding up a neat bag of containers. "We thought that since Maka-chan can't cook right now you might be getting a little tired, so we brought food."

At the moment, Tsubaki was his favourite person. He tried to play it cool, though, "Cool, thanks." He stepped aside to let them in.

"YAHOO! MAKA, THE GREAT BLACK STAR IS HERE TO LET YOU BASK IN GREATNESS! LOOK UPON ME AND RECOVER FASTER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oof!" there was a light thud. "Be quiet Black Star! I'll be right out! Ouch!"

Soul nearly went to check on her when he heard her exclamation of pain, but he froze. She was probably still changing, it took longer when she had limited mobility and had to be careful about her stitches. Maka would _murder_ him if he walked in on her changing. He was grateful when Tsubaki came to his unintentional rescue.

"Maka-chan must be having some trouble with her hands like they are," Tsubaki said worriedly. She put the food down on the counter and started towards Maka's room, "I'm going to check on her."

Soul watched her go down the hall and exchange words with Maka before entering the room. He didn't notice the oddly serious look on Black Star's face until the ninja blurted out his thoughts.

"You look like shit."

"Gee thanks," Soul rolled his eyes and glared at his friend.

"No, seriously," Black Star said. "You look like shit. What's eating you?"

"None of your business," Soul snarled.

"Oi! I am the man who will surpass God! Everything is my business!"

"Not this! I will deal with what happened myself and - never mind, forget it."

"Tell meeeeee!"

"What?" Maka had exited her room at last, fully dressed with Tsubaki's help.

"Nothing. Tsubaki brought us food."

"Oh! Thank you Tsubaki-chan!"

"It's no trouble at all."

They ate breakfast in peace. Maka still had some trouble manoeuvring her fork. Black Star nearly took some of her food, because she was eating slowly, but Soul had kicked him under the table and Tsubaki had scolded him.

All too soon, though, Black Star stood up and announced that it was time to go. Tsubaki sent him a puzzled look, and Black Star looked at Soul with a maniacal grin that said 'I'll let it go for now, but next time, I'll beat it out of you.'

Black Star was a master at that look. Everyone who knew him understood the look perfectly. The blue-haired ninja bounded out of the apartment with Tsubaki at his heels.

The moment the door slammed, Maka whirled to him. "What is wrong with you, Soul? You're acting strange." She bit her lip. "Are you mad at me?"

"What? No! I..."

"Then tell me!"

Soul had never felt more lost. The thoughts that had been plaguing him ever since their resonance were building up, threatening to explode out of him all at once. Maka had strode forward, angry, hurt, and concerned, until they were only a couple feet away from each other.

"Soul..."

"I..."

"Is it the scar? Is that what's bothering you?"

Probably. The dreams _had_ started then. But like hell he was going to tell her that. She still couldn't even look at the scar without looking pained, he was not about to tell her that it was making him go insane.

"Soul,_ please_ tell me what's wrong! You're worrying me!"

Finally, words burst out of him. "Why the hell are you worrying about ME?!" He practically shouted. He grabbed her shoulders, trying desperately to get across how serious this was, Maka's eyes widened in surprise. "Damn it Maka! It's my fault you're hurt, it's my fault our wavelengths weren't in sync, and goddammit I could have _killed_ you when we resonated last!"

"Wh-what?" Maka stuttered. His outburst had startled her quite a bit.

"You can't have not noticed! Something is wrong with me! You _had_ to have felt it! I was practically going insane and I nearly fucking **ate your soul** before I snapped out of it!"

He let go of her shoulders. He wanted to hit something. He was angry, frustrated, and scared. He backed away, afraid to meet her eyes suddenly. "You should hate me right now and instead you're worrying about me. What if I lost control again? What if I..." His voice cracked "Through the resonance, I... You were _scared..._ of... of _me_..."

"Soul..."

"You should find a new partner Maka." There. He'd said it. It was suddenly hard to breath. His chest hurt. He didn't want to stop being Maka's partner.

"Maka Chop!"

A book collided with his skull, making his knees buckle and give out. He didn't bother getting back up. He just looked up at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion. She was furious, and her eyes were watering with pain from hitting him. Somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind, a voice told his dumbstruck self that he ought to scold her for damaging her hands further.

"Do not talk about yourself like that," she snarled. "I don't want a new partner. This is because I let you get hurt. After that battle with the werewolf, I coughed up black blood you know."

Soul's eyes widened.

"The only thing I can come up with is that it was because I let you get hurt that time. So it's really my fault."

"Maka-"

"Be quiet and let me talk!" Maka yelled. "You are not going to blame yourself for what happened and furthermore I don't believe you'll lose control. You're stronger than that."

"But I-"

"What did I just say?! No. We are going to get through this together, Soul."

With that, Maka stomped down the hall towards her room, leaving a stunned Soul in her wake. She reached out to open the door and paused.

"And one more thing, Soul."

He blinked, and she turned and smiled, "I was scared of the _feeling_, not you. I could _never_ be afraid of my Soul Eater."

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Angst is not to be broken out of through gentle words and hugs. It is through a book to the head or a knee to the face.


	3. Chapter Three

_**Chapter Three**_

_"If you get lost,_

_I'll come running, no matter where._

_I'll be there for you... Always!_

_I'll listen to you talk... I won't leave you alone,_

_Never!"_

- LCDD, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

According to Maka, there was nothing to forgive, but that didn't stop the dreams from coming. That night had dreamed of the black room again.

_The demon was there, as always, grinning that crazy, maniacal grin._

_"It won't last," the demon announced. Soul scowled at him. "Sooner or later she'll get sick of it. Or you'll kill her. You won't care if you give in. Insanity is wonderful, you know."_

_It had been. He could deny it all he wanted to the demon, but he couldn't deny it to himself. "Maka thinks I can stop it. She's usually right."_

_Even if he didn't quite believe her._

_"Not about this she isn't," the demon's face darkened. "Just give in. It doesn't hurt. It will make you strong. You won't have to fear death any more."_

_"You don't seem to know me as well as you think you do," Soul snarled. "I'm willing to die for my Meister."_

_"Willingness does not make you unafraid."_

_"It doesn't matter."_

_"Oh? But what if you hesitate?" The demon grinned again. "What if you're just a second too late to throw your life away for your girl's? Fear can do that too, you know. But if you're stronger, if you don't fear... then you won't hesitate. Your girl won't have to have any more of those nasty stitches."_

_Soul tensed. His mind went over Maka's injury, for what felt like the hundredth time searching for some way to have stopped her from getting hurt. "Shut up."_

_"I'm only stating the truth," the demon shrugged._

_"You're trying to manipulate me."_

_"Doesn't make it a lie."_

Soul woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. He was, for the first time, incredibly relieved to be woken by it. The demon had talked more than usual, he hadn't been forced out of the room and into the darkness. He hadn't killed Maka in his dreams that night.

They had talked things over, decided to get blood tests, to talk to Doctor Stein. They would take precautions, they would practice resonance when Maka's hands had healed, with teacher supervision.

He was still worried. He was still terrified that even with their precautions he would end up hurting his technician, but she didn't hate him, she was willing to do whatever it took to have him remain her weapon. It was like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He could stay with her.

With that optimistic thought in mind, he hurried off to make breakfast.

This time. He didn't burn the eggs.

* * *

When he came back from shopping it was to find Maka fumbling awkwardly with the pages of a book. The bandages on her hands kept sliding instead of gripping the paper, and her face was contorted in a mixture of pain and irritation. She was so immersed and frustrated with her book that she didn't notice Soul until he had stepped over and flipped the page for her.

She made a grumbling sound, "I bet you find this amusing."

"Why would I be amused that you're hurting your hands?" he demanded. "We have a TV. That doesn't require your hands."

"I'm going over the materials for the Ultra Paper Test," Maka replied. "This is our first test with Doctor Stein. I've got to be prepared."

Soul rolled his eyes and moved to put away the food. When he was done, he turned to find Maka already fumbling with another page. "Dammit Maka!" he started swearing creatively as he stalked forward and turned the page for her. "You're going to screw up your hands!"

"I'm just turning pages!"

"Well stop it!"

"How else am I supposed to read?"

"I'll turn the fucking pages for you! It's bad enough you have to use your hands to eat!" Soul wanted to bang his head against the wall. "Do something else until Lunch is ready."

"But I-"

He swiped the book, bookmarked it, and straightened to put it on a shelf out of her reach. Maka was having difficulty getting up without aggravating her injury. "Soul!" she whined. "Give me my book back!"

Soul just walked back to the stove and continued cooking.

"No."

"Soooul."

Soul grimaced. _'Where is that damn cat?'_ if Blair was there, she could just make the book turn its own pages for Maka. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Maka trying in vain get the book down. He rolled his eyes. Maka was short. Even slouching (as he almost always was) he was still taller than her, and he was still growing. There was no way she could reach it.

_'Stubborn idiot.'_

Giving up at last, Maka plopped back down on the couch and crossed her arms. "Soul."

"What?"

"I ordered a book from the city library before we went to London."

"So?"

"... If I don't pick it up we'll get a fine."

Soul resisted the urge to bang his head against the nearest object. It was a good thing, too, because the nearest object was the hot frying pan. "Fine. I'll get it after lunch."

"I can get it."

"I'll. Get. It. After. Lunch."

And that was how he ended up in the dusty library Maka frequented. He didn't understand why Maka couldn't just use the school library.

The line to the counter seemed to take forever to get through, but finally he ended up at the counter across from a short, dimpled old lady with a broad smile.

"Uh. I'm here to pick up a book for Maka Albarn?" It came out as more of a question than anything.

"Oh, for Maka-chan?" The woman pulled the book off a nearby shelf and passed it to him. Soul handed her both of their IDs. He didn't get what the big deal was with all the security over books. "Is Maka-chan still not feeling well?"

"Maka was injured in our last assignment," Soul blinked at the woman.

"Oh," the woman shook her head. "I thought perhaps she was sick. She seemed really down last week."

Soul grimaced. That would have been after their special training with Stein. He now felt extremely guilty.

She hadn't been particularly nice to him either, but he had jumped at the chance to tell her all her flaws, a fair number of them false. _'Thick ankles. As if.'_ he snorted to himself.

He practically stomped his way out of the library.

* * *

"So did you get it?"

"Yeah," Soul shoved the book on the top shelf next to the other one, where Maka couldn't get at it until her hands healed. Maka scowled for a few moments, but it didn't last long.

"What's up with you? You look upset."

Soul sighed, "The lady at the library said you were in a really bad mood when you last went there. That was after Doctor Stein's special training."

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well... er... I'm sorry about the things I said."

"I'm sorry too. I said some mean stuff as well..." Maka trailed off. She fidgeted for a moment, and looked up at him, "Hey. My cooking really isn't bad is it?"

Huh, he didn't even remember saying _that_. "No, I was just angry. You were acting weird and I didn't know what to do about it."

"Good," Maka smiled. "I wouldn't want to force my cooking on you if it wasn't any good."

Soul mentally debated whether or not it was cool to admit that he liked Maka's cooking far more than his own. He simply settled for paying extra attention while he was cooking that night.

* * *

The next morning and afternoon came and went. That night, Soul helped Maka change the bandages on her hands for the last time. Her skin was now almost completely healed, with only a few splotches of raw skin left. Soul found himself pausing, just staring at her palms. It had been him who had burned her in the first place. It wasn't like his failure to protect her that had earned her the stitches. She'd burned her hands holding him.

"Soul?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry," Soul shook his head and applied burn salve to his Meister's hands. He almost found it embarrassing, to be rubbing burn salve into her hands. Most humans would think it the act of a couple. But it was not uncommon for partners to have to patch each other up. He'd just been around normal people too long.

"What are you thinking about?"

Soul refrained from answering for a few seconds, until her questioning eyes finally broke through. He sighed, "I did this."

"Huh?"

"The burns. You burned your hands on me. I've never... actually hurt you before."

"Our wavelengths wouldn't have slipped if I hadn't let you get hurt in Italy in the first place," Maka reminded him. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"How many times do I have to tell_ you_ it was my choice?" Soul retorted. It dawned on him that they would probably never give up on whose fault it was. He finished applying the last of the salve and then worked to wrap fresh bandages around her hands. Finally, Maka broke the silence.

"In three days, I'm supposed to go back up to the infirmary to have Professor Stein check on my stitches so he can clear me to go back to school. I was thinking we could get blood tests while we were there. To check on the Black Blood."

Soul took a deep, calming breath. "Okay."

"Do you mind coming back down here to pick me up after school?"

"I'm not going," Soul replied flatly. "It's just three more days."

"You can't be missing this much school."

"I am not going to school while my technician is still injured," Soul replied.

"Soul," Maka said warningly. "My hands will be healed by tomorrow. I'll be okay."

"You've still got those stitches."

"Soul!" Maka groaned. "You've already missed too many days."

"And I'll miss however many more day it takes. I'm not leaving you by yourself."

Perhaps he was imagining it, but though she continued to scold him for not taking his studies seriously, she was a little bit red, and the corners of her mouth kept twitching.

* * *

Maka looked ecstatic when she finally took the bandages off her hands for the last time the next morning. She immediately flexed her fingers, washed the remaining burn salve off her hands, and then curled up on the couch with a book, beaming like a child on their birthday.

Soul privately thought it was kind of cute. At least until he stubbed his toe while staring.

* * *

_**A/N:**_This chapter didn't undergo nearly as much revising as the other chapters. I didn't like this one much to begin with, and I'm just plain lazy.


	4. Chapter Four

_**Chapter Four**_

_"The path is too dark and I can't walk_

_I can't move, be with me_

_So don't let me down_

_I'm here because you're here." _

- Swear, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_"Still feeling guilty, Soul? You can't feel guilty if you give in to the madness."_

_"It's because I gave in at all that I'm feeling guilty," Soul retorted. "Shouldn't have bothered dealing with a little demon like you." He leaned back against the armchair. "What are you, anyway?"_

_"You."_

_"You're **not** me." Soul snapped. "Like hell."_

_"Hell is inside your head. Believe what you want," the demon shrugged. "You can't deny the truth forever. And sooner or later you'll realize the power I can give you. Insanity cannot be suppressed."_

_"I don't believe you."_

_"You will," The demon chuckled. "Now, isn't it time you left the room?"_

_"No. I want to stay here," Soul shook his head and sank deeper into the chair, gripping the armrests with all his might. _

_"Here in the dark?" The demon smirked. "Don't you want to go back to the light? Back to your precious Meister?"_

_"Not if it means hurting her."_

_"What makes you think you have a choice?"_

He choked on his scream as he woke up, again drenched in sweat. He felt sick. There had been so much blood this time. _Her_ blood. It had felt so real, he could still smell its metallic scent and feel it on his hands.

Gagging, he stumbled out of his room and down the dark hallway to the bathroom. There was just enough moonlight streaming through the bathroom window that he could make out the toilet. He reached it just in time for last night's dinner to come back up. He was vomiting for several more long moments before the light flicked on.

"Soul, are you okay?"

Maka sounded incredibly worried. He wanted to say something to reassure her, but the moment he opened his mouth to do so he had to turn his head back over the toilet. He heard bare feet on the bathroom tiles and then felt his Meister's small, warm hand on his back moving in soothing circular motions. When he'd finally emptied his stomach, Maka handed him a paper towel to wipe his face.

"If you were coming down with something, you should have told me," Maka said in concern. She put one hand on his forehead and the other on her own, and held them both there for a few moments, "You don't seem to have a fever."

"I'm... okay," Soul coughed. His throat hurt and his mouth tasted like vomit. He still couldn't get the smell of blood to go away, even though it had been a dream.

Maka tugged him up gently, "Come on. I'll get you some water."

He felt kind of clammy and shaky, a side effect of throwing up, so he gratefully accepted her help in getting to the couch. In a few moments Maka had the kettle on the stove and a cup of cold water for him. Soul sipped it slowly, letting it wash out the foul taste and sooth his burning throat. When he'd finally downed the glass, he set it back down on the coffee table.

"Well, I guess it was a good thing you weren't going to school today in the first place," Maka said. She still sounded worried. "I'm making you some peppermint tea. It should settle your stomach."

"I'm okay," Soul repeated his earlier words. "You don't have to..."

"You've been taking care of me for the last week. It's only fair I do the same," Maka said stubbornly. "You better not have been hiding the fact that you were sick from me!"

"I wasn't feeling sick until I woke up."

At any rate, he already felt better, because she was here and alive with him, bustling about the kitchen, worrying about him like she always did. A couple minutes later she was putting a cup of tea down in front of him, sugar already mixed in the precise measurements he always drank, and then she sat down next to him, keeping a wary eye on her weapon. He mumbled thanks and sipped the peppermint tea. Almost instantly, his stomach settled considerably, and he began to feel very drowsy, his lack of decent sleep catching up to him. He drank the rest of the tea quickly and yawned.

"Do you want some more?" Maka asked instantly when he put the cup down. She started to get up, but Soul caught the edge of her sleeve, pulling her back down to the couch.

"I'm good," he yawned again. "Thanks, Maka. I feel a lot better."

"Maybe you should go back to sleep," Maka suggested. "You look really pale."

"Mmm," Soul leaned on her shoulder, already starting to doze..

"I meant in your bed," Maka giggled.

"I'm good here," he replied sleepily, eyes slipping shut.

Maka smiled at him fondly before carefully shifting, intending to get him a pillow and some blankets, but he was still gripping her arm.

"Soul?" she wondered if he was actually still awake. If he was, it was barely.

"Dun' go Maka..." he mumbled in his sleep. Maka hesitated for a moment, and then sank back into the cushions, Soul half-curled in her lap.

The rest of his sleep had been mercifully dreamless. When the sun started filtering in through the window and woke him up, he found his head resting against Maka's knee. Soul shot up, blushing furiously. The movement woke Maka, and she stirred, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Morning," she mumbled. Soul turned brighter red.

"I... uh... Why were we...?"

"You didn't want me to leave. I guess you don't remember."

Soul looked away, scratching the back of his head nervously. Now that she mentioned it, he vaguely recalled clinging to Maka's arm as he fell asleep. Crap. Uncool.

"Sorry," he muttered. He quickly got off of the couch. Maka got up and stretched with a wince when it tugged on her injury. "Oi."

"I'm fine," Maka waved off his concern. "Do you want some soup?"

His stomach still felt a bit iffy, "I can make it."

"No way! You were throwing up last night. You should go lay down."

"You're still injured."

"I can make a can of soup," Maka rolled her eyes. "Shoo, shoo!" She waved her hands at him. Soul rolled his eyes, but headed back to his bed. There was no stopping her when she was like this.

It was aggravating, but it wouldn't be Maka if she gave in easily.

* * *

Soul wasn't sick.

Not in the way Maka thought. It wasn't some stomach bug or bacteria. The problem was in his blood and it had already spread to his soul. He was messed up.

The logical part of him wanted to tell Maka about the dreams. He knew that she could help him. Maybe not right away, but her support and her presence would ease the agony of his dreams. It wasn't as if he didn't trust her - he trusted her more than anything.

His logic was almost immediately stamped out by his desire not to make her feel more guilty. It was bad enough that she blamed herself for the scar and the black blood.

No, it was better this way.

"Soul. Soup is ready," Maka said softly. She pushed the door open the rest of the way, bearing a tray with a bowl of soup on it.

"You didn't have to do that."

Maka blushed, "Just eat your soup. You should rest today, alright? Is there anything else you need?"

"I'm good. Thanks."

"All right... I'm going to get you a bucket though, just in case," Maka hurried off.

Soul sighed and shut his eyes, "Not cool." He mumbled. "No matter what I do I end up worrying her."

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Poor Soul. Humm, I actually liked this chapter as it was for the most part, so it stayed pretty much the same.


	5. Chapter Five

_**Chapter Five**_

_"Even if the tears fall,_

_Don't ask me anything_

_It's Okay!_

_Even if something crumbles down.."_

- Ready, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_"Hmmmm," the Demon's voice was amused. "You don't look so good, Soul."_

_"And who's fault is that?" Soul snapped. He bent down and grabbed the demon by the front of its double-breasted suit. "Stop showing me those dreams!"_

_"I'm not doing anything," the demon laughed. "You're creating those images on your own."_

_"Why the hell would I want do that?! Do you think I **enjoy** watching Maka die, even if it is just a dream?!"_

_"Who said it was something you wanted to see?" The demon raised an eyebrow. "You're only seeing what you're thinking about. What you fear."_

_"That's your fault too!" Soul ground his teeth together. _

_"Oh? Weren't you just recently saying to that girl of yours that getting infected by Black Blood was no fault but your own?"_

_Soul dropped him as unceremoniously as possible, hoping to wipe that smug look off it's face. His attempt was met with failure. _

_"I can take away that fear, you know."_

_"To be fearless is to be reckless," Soul replied after a moment's hesitation. He sometimes did wish he could just not care about these dreams._

_"Or so your teachers tell you."_

_"Why won't you leave me alone?"_

_"It's too late for that, Soul. You've been infected with the Black Blood and the Madness. It will never leave you. Now, it's time for you to leave the room."_

Soul nearly choked on air as he awoke. _'Breath, Soul. Breath.'_ he reminded himself shakily. This time it hadn't been as bad as the night before, but Soul was still shaking, still drenched in cold sweat.

He had to see her.

He nearly fell out of his bed in his haste, but barely remembered to be quiet as he crept over to Maka's closed door and slowly eased it open just enough for him to look inside.

His technician was sleeping peacefully, face serene and breathing even. She stirred a bit, and Soul froze, but she only turned, her face momentarily wrinkling in pain when it aggravated her injury, but her face smoothed back out and she did not wake.

Soul let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and, leaving the door open that sliver, sank against the wall outside her room. There was only a one more hour until daylight. He would not be sleeping any more tonight. And he had to take her up to the school later. With nothing to distract him, his mind wandered back to his dream.

Maka refused to leave him, but he still felt like he should anyway. But it had been hard enough to bring up the topic before. He was too selfish to do it again.

Sighing, Soul shut his eyes and leaned against the wall, listening to his Meister's soft breathing through the slightly open door. When their alarm clocks went off, he would start making breakfast.

* * *

"Soul, isn't it my turn to cook?"

"Mmm. Just felt like it," Soul replied. "I'm almost done. Go sit down."

"So are you feeling better?" Maka asked.

He definitely wasn't feeling better, and probably wouldn't as long as the dreams kept coming. But he wasn't nauseous any more at least. "Yeah. My stomach isn't bugging me anymore."

He'd once heard that it was best to tell only the part of the story was true when you were lying. He supposed it was right. It was easier to tell a half-truth than to outright lie to Maka.

"I'm glad." He could hear the relief in her voice, and was glad his back was turned to her. She didn't see his torn expression.

* * *

"Alright, you can go back to school tomorrow," Stein dropped the edge of Maka's shirt, which had been lifted to just under her breasts so he could check on her stitches. "I'm going to get the blood tests now," he grabbed a few empty syringes and tied a strip of an elastic material around Maka's upper arm. "This won't take long."

Soul winced and looked away. He didn't particularly like watching Stein stick a needle in Maka's arm. It made him twitchy. He hadn't quite forgotten Stein's apparent intent to dissect his technician when they had first met. The sharpie marks on her abdomen had been a source of discomfort for him until they'd washed off.

"Done," Stein said only a few moments later. He put away the materials for Maka's testing and waved Soul over.

Even though he had respect for the man, sitting still while Stein stuck a needle in him made him nervous.

Thankfully it only took a few seconds.

"I'll have the results in a few weeks. We've got to be careful not to miss anything. We have no idea how the Black Blood could effect you both." Stein slapped a band-aid where the needle had been and straightened the blood samples. "I need to see what happened when you last resonated. Come to my office after school tomorrow."

Soul had been standing as Stein was talking. He stumbled. "O-okay."

Great, another thing to be nervous about. Suddenly he was dreading going back to school. He was starting to feel sick.

It had been so much better when resonating with Maka again was just an idea. Now that he had a time and place, he was unsure.

"Soul?" Maka put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Soul took a deep breath and averted his eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine."

* * *

"Soul, are you okay? You're worrying me."

"Hmm?" Soul looked up. He had been pushing his food around on the plate, appetite lost. "I'm fine."

"You're not eating. Are you sure you're not still sick?"

He was tempted to lie. If he said he was sick then he could stay home from school tomorrow. He wouldn't have to risk Soul Resonance.

But she was looking concerned, staring at him with her wide, concerned green eyes.

He speared some chicken with his fork and put it in his mouth. "I was just thinking."

"About tomorrow?"

Soul smirked humourlessly, "Yeah."

"It'll be fine," Maka insisted. "Doctor Stein will make sure nothing happens."

He wished he had her optimism.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Humm... I don't really have much to say... Please review! I love hearing from people SO MUCH. A single review makes me feel warm and fuzzy all day. :)


	6. Chapter Six

_**Chapter Six**_

_"Don't leave me, accept me._

_This isn't fate, but..._

_Baby I swear..._

_Now shine on the tears that waver in the moonlight."_

- Swear, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_"Isn't it wonderful, Soul?" The demon asked sarcastically. "You get to learn how truly weak you are today. How much of a scared little boy you still are. Really, how long are you going to keep it up?"_

_"Is there a point to this?"_

_"You can deny it if you want, but things are in motion and you can't escape them."_

* * *

"Maka-chan, your injuries have healed enough to come back to school?"

"Yep!"

"YAHOO! THE GREAT BLACK STAR HAS SPED UP YOUR HEALING!"

"..."

"Black Star..."

Soul blankly stared at the black board. His mind was on the meeting with Stein later.

"Soul?" Maka's concerned gaze suddenly appeared in front of him. Soul jumped. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Soul grunted.

But when the bell rang at the end of the day, he still went pale.

* * *

"I want you to just resonate like normal. Try to keep yourself from behind overwhelmed," Stein added to Soul. As if he needed to be told that. He knew what he had to do. He just didn't know if he could actually succeed.

Maka nodded seriously. "Right. Soul?" She held out her hand, catching him lightly when he transformed.

He braced himself.

"Soul Resonance!"

Their wavelengths aligned, perfectly in time with each other. His twisted, dark, harsh and noisy, laced with insanity. Hers light and airy, like the flapping of wings or the pages turning in the books she so loved or the tinkling of wind chimes. For one long moment he allowed himself to enjoy the music their wavelengths made, so different but mingling as if they were meant to be.

And then he felt the rush through the steely veins of his scythe form, Black Blood flowing through his body and his soul. It was drowning out his fear, filling him with ease and bliss, a pleasant buzz that drove out his worries. He was being carried away by the current, by the harsh river of Black Blood in his body. He felt warmth besides him. Warm, shining, beautiful power, delicate but wonderful. He wanted it. His soul stretched out, seeking the warmth, grasping it, seeking to consume it.

The warmth shuddered. Fear that was not his own immersed him like jumping into an icy lake, freezing his blood, both black and red. Freezing his soul, his mind.

_'Maka!'_

He tore the connection apart. It ended with a jarring sound like someone slamming their hands on a piano. He transformed, falling to the ground in a heap and scrambling to his feet the moment his motion stopped. Both Maka and Stein were staring at him, but he hardly noticed his teacher, his eyes fixed on his Meister's face.

Her eyes were wide, her breathing uneven, slim form trembling. He knew his Technician's soul well enough to feel it too shaking at the fading feeling.

His crimson regretful eyes met her brilliant green fearful irises. A clash of complimentary colours. His self-loathing and her fear.

He ran. Bolting out the door without bothering to even slam it behind him. His heart pounded in his ears, blood rushing, drowning out all sound.

He didn't hear Maka call his name. Didn't hear Stein telling her to give him space. Didn't hear her tearful response that it was her fault and she needed to apologize. He only heard the Black Blood and the Demon's gleeful laughter.

* * *

He didn't stop until he found a secluded dead end. One of the many balconies at Shibusen. He didn't know why there were so many balconies at a school, but frankly, he didn't care. He sat against the railing, resting his head on his knees with his eyes shut.

He couldn't keep this up. He had nearly killed Maka again. He had scared her, nearly consumed her soul because he wasn't strong enough, and he had _enjoyed_ it. He couldn't risk it again. He couldn't resonate with her again. He couldn't fight with her again.

_'I should quit school,'_ he thought. Maka was the only one compatible with him, but there were other weapons compatible with her. She could find a new weapon, but Soul would have to leave. Even if someone else could wield him they wouldn't want to, not when he was infected with the Black Blood. He doubted anybody but Maka would be brave (or foolish) enough to risk it.

Yes, he'd have to leave. He'd have to see Shinigami-sama, get the withdrawal papers. Maka would be angry, she'd call him a coward, but he would rather her hate him then be killed by his weakness.

"Soul-kun?"

Soul looked up. Tsubaki's blue eyes were concerned.

The fellow weapon bent down to look at him better, "Soul-kun, what's wrong?"

Well if he had to leave, he had to tell his friends something. But where to start?

"Me. I'm what's wrong," Soul said miserably. He sighed, willing himself not to break down. Where would he go? Back to his parents who never accepted him? He'd rather go anywhere but back to his family.

"What do you mean? Soul-kun, if there's anything I can do..." Tsubaki trailed off. She sat down next to him. Soul wondered where Black Star was.

He must have spoken that aloud, because Tsubaki smiled softly and answered, "He's at home training to use my Youtou mode. I figured I'd get some studying done at the library. But why do you say that you're what's wrong?"

"Because I am. I think I'm going insane."

Tsubaki was silent for a moment, "What happened in London... You're upset because of that, right?"

Soul looked at her in surprise. Tsubaki gave him a small smile, "One of my abilities as an assassin weapon is a bit of Soul Perception. I can't do nearly as much as a Meister, but I did feel what happened in London."

"I nearly ate her soul."

Tsubaki's smile fell away, "... Yes. But I thought you had talked things over."

"We did," Soul grimaced. "She said we would work it out somehow. But we resonated again today and it happened again. There's no way it can work."

"Did Maka-chan say that?" Tsubaki looked surprised.

"No," Soul admitted. "But even if she doesn't think that, I can't let myself hurt her." Tsubaki was a weapon like him, she would surely understand.

Tsubaki leaned back against the railing and shut her eyes, face towards the sky. "You know, my Youtou form is very dangerous."

"Huh?"

"It sucks away a Soul's wavelength. It could even kill Black Star if he's not careful. But he hasn't even considered us not using it. I know if I bring it up, he will say something like 'the Great Me can handle it!'" Tsubaki smiled.

"Black Star's not the type of person to be scared by something like that. But Maka _was_ scared."

"Good."

"What?"

"It would be bad if she wasn't scared. Only a fool would not be scared of having their soul devoured," Tsubaki said darkly. "As Black Star's weapon, I know that he really _is_ scared of what could happen with the Youtou. I would be more worried if he wasn't scared."

Soul blinked.

"Because people who don't fear are reckless," Tsubaki continued. "No matter what Black Star is doing, I want to be able to know he's going to be afraid, and think about it. Maka-chan is scared of a lot of things, but she uses that to her advantage. She doesn't let the fear control her, she lets it make her _stronger_. That is Maka-chan's strength."

Soul was silent as he absorbed Tsubaki's words.

It had been her fear that had drawn him out of the insanity. He had failed only when the insanity wiped out his fear.

Tsubaki got up, stirring him out of his thoughts. "I'd better go home and make Black Star some dinner. I hope things work out with you and Maka-chan."

"Thanks..."

He watched his friend leave.

_'Lettings fear make you stronger, huh?' _Soul thought. With a deep breath, he got up and headed back to Stein's office.

* * *

To say Stein was feeling awkward would be an understatement. He didn't understand feelings. He understood science, he understood fear, and he understood his duty as a teacher and Meister, but little else.

His duty as a teacher right now was probably to say something comforting to the crying Scythe Technician in his office. He understood that. But he didn't understand _how_ to do it.

He turned the screw in his head absently. He would have to make a note to ask Spirit what to do when a student is crying later. That didn't do him much good now, though.

To Stein's extreme relief, the door creaked open again to reveal a head of shocking white hair. "Ah, Soul, you're back." Maka's head snapped up.

Soul gave an absent shrug and opened the door the rest of the way. He was nervous, scared to find out how Maka had reacted to his bailing. He was dismayed to find fresh tears sliding down his Meister's cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Soul!" Maka threw her arms around his neck. Soul hadn't been expecting it, and so he stiffened, heat rising to his face, but after a moment he brought his arms up to hold her. "This is my fault! I shouldn't have-"

"Not your fault," Soul didn't know what things that Maka considered to be her fault she was going to list today. He didn't want to hear her blaming herself for his weakness. "I'm sorry for running. I was..." it was harder to admit fear to Maka than anyone else. "Really freaked out when I lost control again."

Maka pulled away, wiping her tears with the back of her glove. Stein cleared his throat.

"Are you ready to try again, Soul?"

He nodded, gripping Maka's hand tightly. Nervousness bubbled up inside him. He welcomed it.

"Alright, transform and begin Soul Resonance again."

_"You're still scared, Soul," the demon taunted. "You can't suppress the insanity."_

Soul ignored him and transformed. He was still terrified of what could happen. Terrified at losing his fear.

That made all the difference.

"Soul Resonance!"

* * *

_**A/N:**_ :( Every time I reread this chapter I feel like it's too cheesy. Arrrgh. Dangit. SOMEDAY I WILL WRITE SOMETHING AND BE SATISFIED WITH IT!


	7. Chapter Seven

_**Chapter Seven**_

_"You are my 'Heavy Starry Chain'_

_I can even become the devil if you wish for it _

_Baby for you_

_I don't care what happens, my dear..._

_As long as I can return that sweet smile."_

- Heavy Starry Chain, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

"Soul..."

"Huh? What?" Soul looked up, drawn out of his thoughts. Maka was staring firmly at her boots, a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Umm, would you please... not mention to anyone what happened earlier? With... the whole crying thing," she went a bit redder and still didn't meet his eyes. "It's... really embarrassing."

"No problem. Cool guys don't talk about stuff like that," Soul said with forced indifference. He was careful to keep himself calm as he tried to will himself to stop remembering the fact that she had been crying. Soul didn't know how to deal with crying people, his meister least of all. And it was because he had been stupid and run off.

"Hey Soul, where did you park again?" Maka tilted her head.

"Over here," Soul led her to the motorcycle.

Dare he tell her that he had considered leaving Shibusen? He still felt a prickle of shame at his cowardice. Maka would be furious at the thought of him giving up... He deserved the chewing out he was sure to get.

"Alright, let's go home!" Maka beamed at him. "I'll make dinner tonight, okay?"

He couldn't bring himself to get rid of that smile.

* * *

Blair was home when they arrived. Both of them blinked owlishly at her for a few moments before their room mate slash pet tilted her black-furred head and gave a "What?" that sounded more like a meow.

"You haven't been here for a few days," Soul was irritated. Blair would have been actually useful to have. Maka would have been less likely to deny help if it came from magic.

"Chucacabra's has been busy," Blair yawned. "Bu-tan has been too tired to come home every night, so Bu-tan has been sleeping in the janitor closet at work. Did Soul-kun miss Bu-tan?" Blair asked hopefully.

Soul stormed to his room and slammed the door.

* * *

_"You're getting ahead of yourself, Soul," the demon scolded. "You still lost control."_

_"It was only the third time we've resonated since you showed up," Soul retorted. "I held out longer last time."_

_"And how long will it last? How long before you can't resist the insanity anymore? Better to give in now and save yourself the pain."_

_"You keep saying the same things, bastard."_

_"Maybe I'm holding out for it to get through that thick skull of yours."_

_"It won't, because you're wrong," Soul said stubbornly. The demon smirked._

_"It's time to leave the room."_

_"I..." Soul trailed off. His gaze was drawn to the door that would lead him as it always did to the rest of the nightmare. He didn't want to go through it. He wanted nothing more than to stay in the room forever and never see his Meister die by his hands again. But sooner or later it would happen anyway. Somehow, the demon always managed to force him out of the room._

_He was terrified. But that was good, right? It would keep him grounded._

_He took a deep breath. He vaguely wondered if it made a difference, seeing as how this was a dream. But he shoved that thought aside and braced himself as he opened the door and stepped out into the blackness._

* * *

He woke up early. The horrible feelings and sensations from his dream rarely failed to start him out of slumber. Grimacing, he clambered out of bed and dumped his sheets into a laundry basket and replaced them. He'd had a cup of water on his endtable in the night, and towards the end of the dream he'd knocked it over, the slightly stale water mingling with sweat and the drool on his pillow.

With a sigh, he headed to the bathroom to shower. His hair was plastered to his face and he decided it looked gross.

He was still exhausted. Almost to the point where he fell asleep standing up... until he heard Maka's door open and close over the sound of the water, and noise in the kitchen. She was probably faithfully making breakfast.

When he joined her in the kitchen, he'd have to make sure he looked like he'd had a restful night's sleep.

* * *

"Duel practice today!" Nygus called during their P.E. class. Privately, Soul always wondered why they bothered calling it P.E. considering it was more along the lines of battle training with occasional bouts of running laps. "Today... let me see... Black Star against Maka, and- What is it, Soul?"

Soul had immediately thrust his hand into the air, "Maka's still hurt."

Nygus blinked, "Oh, yes. Ox Ford, you fight Maka. No electricity."

"Okay, Nygus-sensei."

Maka was scowling, "I'm fine," she protested quietly to Soul, while Nygus paired Black Star against Kilik and continued putting them into groups. They never trained against the same person more than once in a row, to give them a more versatile experience in fighting. Ox, while one of the top members in the class in both fighting and intellect, wielded a spear, which would be more evenly matched against Soul. Maka was usually better, but injuries made even the best have some difficulties.

Ox smiled at Maka, who returned it only half-heartedly as they moved into position. It wasn't that she disliked Ox. It was just that he'd beaten her on the last test, and since then they'd had a friendly rivalry.

"Alright. Start!"

Ox moved first, Harver for once not crackling with electricity. Blocking stabs are different from slashes, and they usually made Soul more nervous. It was about timing, but his meister was good at timing. The spear weapon was knocked aside easily and she followed with a sweeping blow that Ox blocked. They continued in that way for several minutes.

Maka's wound had started to hurt again. He could vaguely tell through their matched wavelengths, though they weren't resonating. She kept her wavelength stable, though, simply gritting her teeth against the pain and delivering another attack.

_'Her left side is weaker,' _Soul noted after another block. Where her right arm was firm while blocking, her left wavered as a result of the injury above her ribs. Eventually, when Ox had brought Harver down particularly hard, her arm gave, slamming into her left side with a sudden, dizzying pain that Soul registered through both her wavelength and her sharp gasp. Sudden worry flooded through him. Their wavelengths scrambled, and she fell back.

"Soul-" Maka tried to calm him, but then Harver was at her neck. She smiled weakly at Ox, "Looks like you won."

Ox didn't gloat his victory. Harver transformed back into a human and Ox leaned down, offering her a hand. Soul transformed and pulled Maka up before he could. He was scowling, not at Ox, but at himself.

"I hope your injury heals soon, Maka-san," Ox said. "Next time, I hope we can fight on equal terms."

"Me too," Maka replied. Ox went off to inform Nygus of the score, and Maka turned to Soul. Her expression was a mix of concern, annoyance, and resignation.

"Sorry," Soul muttered. He kept his tone quiet so only she would hear. Maka's hand brushed his lightly in reassurance.

"It's okay. It's just training. But I'm okay, really. My arm just banged against my side a little bit... I've been hurt in battle tons of times, but you've never reacted like that before..."

"I'm just a bit stressed," Soul replied with a sigh. He offered her a somewhat shaky grin, "I'm getting better though."

She smiled at him reassuringly.

* * *

On the way to Stein's office, Soul tried not to let his nervousness show while simultaneously making himself as nervous as possible. Somehow he wasn't quite sure this was what Tsubaki had meant, but the demon found it harder to gain control while he was scared. So Soul figured it was a start at least. He was slightly disappointed to note that, while Maka appeared outwardly to be fine, she seemed a little bit nervous too.

_'It's for the best,' _he reminded himself. _'If she's scared then it's less dangerous.'_

Stein opened the door before they got there. He'd probably sensed them. Soul prepared himself mentally for resonating again.

* * *

He'd done better, but towards the end, once again, the demon had gotten the best of him. He was angry at himself. It wasn't fair to Maka to keep putting her through that.

* * *

_**A/N: **_If you're arriving at this chapter after reading the last six ones being entitled "Rest" then you might want to go back and re-read it.. I've revised everything and retitled the fanfic.

Can you tell how fond I am of weapons? I prefer swords and flails, myself, but spears are quite nice too.

Soul's not all better yet. He's heading towards figuring out what to do, but he's still got a ways to go...


	8. Chapter Eight

_**Chapter Eight**_

_"If the harsh sound of rain makes you sad,_

_I will become your kind shield:_

_Always keep believing._

_I pray... that a small miracle_

_Will be reflected in your eyes."_

- Pray, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_He was close enough to Maka to feel confusion through her wavelength, fear, apprehension, and concern. He felt most of those himself. How could a weapon be **inside** that purple-haired Meister?_

_"Soul, transform, now," Maka's voice shook. Soul obeyed without thought, forming in her hands. Automatically, Maka moved into a defensive position._

_"Maka... What do you mean, 'there's a weapon inside that person'?" _

_"Be careful. It's coming out." Maka's fear was spiking._

_The purple-haired boy (girl? He couldn't tell)'s face suddenly contorted in pain and shrieked in agony as some kind of black liquid burst from the Meister's back. Through Maka, he registered the wavelength as a weapon._

_It made him angry. Weapons were supposed to protect their Meisters, not hurt them. This was **sick. **This was **wrong**, and how the **hell **could that weapon live with himself?_

_And then suddenly he was in the Black Room._

_"Remembering the Demon Sword, are you?" _

_"Shut up, demon."_

_"It still seems to scare you."_

_"You have a harder time taking over while I'm scared."_

_"Are you sure fear is the best option?" The demon asked rhetorically, brow raised mockingly. Soul clenched his teeth._

_"There's a reason we're taught not to ignore our fears. I just forgot it for a while."_

_"Because it's useless," the demon said in a singsong tone. "And what happens if your girl gets hurt again, and you hesitate?"_

_"I won't."_

_"Like you did yesterday?"_

_"Shut up!"_

_He left the room and slammed the door. And once again he was in the darkness, pulled unwillingly towards the light he didn't want to hurt. _

"Soul-kun. Soul-kun wake up!"

Soul sat upright with a gasp. Something tumbled off his chest and into his lap. After a moment, he realized it was their feline roommate.

"B-Blair?"

The cat looked worried, "Soul-kun was thrashing in his sleep and mumbling! Was Soul-kun having a nightmare?"

"Y-yeah..." He had been caught. No use denying it. Just as long as Maka never found out. "L-listen, don't tell Maka."

"Meow? If Soul-kun is having nightmares, Maka-chan could help!"

"_Please_, Blair," he begged. "Maka will just worry."

"... Bu-tan doesn't like this..."

"You don't have to like it. Just keep your mouth shut," Soul sighed and rolled out of bed to get dressed and grab some food. It was Saturday, but he had a doctor's appointment up at the school today.

* * *

"No lingering physical side-effects," Medusa-sensei smiled and put away the medical equipment. "I feel like I should ask, though, have the dreams stopped?"

Soul paused in the middle of putting his shirt back on, "It's gotten worse, actually," he admitted.

"Worse?" Medusa-sensei looked mildly concerned, and a little bit intrigued. "How so?"

"Clearer," Soul replied. He got up and pulled his jacket on. It had been hard enough to mention his dreams to anyone in the first place. "At first, it was really vague. But now, when I..." Soul shuddered. "There's blood in the dream now. A lot of it is red... but a bit of it is black, too... In... in the dream I've started being able to feel and smell everything."

"Sounds horrible," Medusa-sensei said sympathetically. "Well, your blood test will be done soon. Maybe that will shed some light on the situation?"

"Maybe," Soul sighed. He turned to leave.

"Oh, Soul-kun, remind Maka-chan that her appointment is tomorrow. You are making sure she takes it easy, right? Her injury was pretty bad."

Soul was still facing the door. He didn't see Medusa's smirk when he hesitated and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'll remind her," he grunted.

Everything seemed to come back to his failure.

To his relief, his dreams that night were short. He slept badly, waking up every few hours, but it kept his dreams from concluding.

* * *

He awoke a final time to silence and his alarm clock reading 10:13 AM.

"Ack!" Soul scrambled out of bed. "Maka's appointment-"

"Maka-chan walked," Blair said from the doorway. "She didn't want to wake you up, so she turned off your alarm clock."

Soul grimaced. Not cool. Maka was still injured, she should be taking it easy, not walking all the way to school. He threw on some clothes and ran out the door.

"Uwaa, Soul-kun, where are you going?"

"Picking up Maka!"

* * *

He took their usual path to school. It was the one they took whether they were walking or he was driving, so he could be sure to find Maka even if she'd already left school. He pulled up just as Maka was walking down the steps.

"Eh? Soul, what are you doing here?"

"What's it look like?" Soul rolled his eyes. "Why'd you turn off my alarm clock?"

Maka went red, "W-well... You've been looking really tired, a-and you said you were stressed on Friday, so I... wanted to let you sleep in."

Soul gaped at her. He'd avoided telling her about the dreams to _keep_ her from worrying, not to make her worry _more_.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have turned off your clock without permission."

Soul sighed, offering her a grin, "Come on, let's go back home."

His stomach chose that moment to growl loudly. Soul flushed at Maka's smile.

"You skipped breakfast, didn't you?"

"... Kinda..."

She swung herself onto the bike and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Pick a place. I'll buy."

"You sure?" Soul grinned. He could think of a lot of expensive places to get breakfast.

"I'm sure," Maka smiled. Soul started up the motorcycle again. "Hey, Soul, how come you came to pick me up?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, usually you're fine with having me walk..."

"I can't do something nice for the hell of it?"

"No."

"..."

He couldn't think of an answer that didn't make him look uncool, but if he was to be honest with himself, he was getting a bit paranoid.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Review pleaaase? Reviews make me happy! Or favourites or watches, but reviews most of all. I like knowing people are actually reading and enjoying these.


	9. Chapter Nine

_**Chapter Nine**_

_"No matter how dark the night sky is._

_as long as you're there._

_YES_

_I can walk for sure."_

- Going 2 my way, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_The only thing Soul had been looking forward to on this mission was to get at some English food. He hadn't had much of it since moving to Death City, and old habits died hard. Presently, Soul just wanted to go home - that is, back to Death City, since according to his birth records, he WAS home. _

_(Privately, he wondered if he was the only one who didn't consider his country of origin home any more. He rarely heard any of the other students talk about where they came from, but that didn't mean they didn't think about it. He had to wonder if there were people who missed the places they grew up as much as he always missed Death City on missions.)_

_The werewolf swung an enormous ball of ice. Maka dodged, but it swung around and hit her._

_"Maka!"_

_Maka tumbled to the ground beside him, covered in dirt and bruises. It hurt to look at. _

_"Soul... turn into a scythe," She propped herself up, wincing. _

_He could see the scorch marks on her gloves. If he transformed, it would hurt her, "But right now we can't even-"_

_"Hurry!"_

_**'What do I do?'** Soul panicked. A weapon's duty was to protect their Meister and to follow their orders. His weapon form hurt her, but they didn't have any other options... Clenching his teeth, he transformed and landed in her hands._

_She gave a tiny whimper when steam and the smell of burning cloth and skin rose from her hands. Even though their wavelengths were scrambled, Soul could still tell it really hurt._

_"Your hands..."_

_She ignored him, trying to muffle her pained gasps. And then she swung him at the werewolf, earning herself a bunch to the face and being flung into the bridge's fence. _

_And then they were arguing, and then Tsubaki yelled at them both for the first time in Soul's memory. _

_Their wavelengths aligned. Maka's soul shifted. He didn't see so much as feel something in her soul shift, colour and shape changing. He couldn't tell if it was sound or feeling, but he pictured wings._

_He told the demon to lead. He said he'd stop whatever the demon had in mind._

_Well, he did. But not before nearly consuming Maka's soul. _

_The next few moments were a blur. He was thrown aside and his Meister had tackled the werewolf off the bridge. He didn't even remember moving. He only remembered himself yelling her name and thinking desperately that this COULDN'T happen and the next thing he knew he was clinging to the side of the bridge with one hand clasped around her ankle. And then she was crying out as the werewolves claws dug into her side and scraped against her ribs. He wanted to do something, to tear the bastard to pieces, but the werewolf was heavy and if he so much as moved he would risk dropping Maka and he would never do that. Ever._

_And then once again he was in the Black Room, and the demon was there to mock him and shove him out the door._

* * *

He'd finally done it. He'd maintained control over the demon and the black blood for the entire time they resonated. He was too tired to enjoy his success fully. It had taken a lot out of him... But he was sure he would appreciate it after a night of sleep.

"Well, that was good," Stein said. "You could do better, though."

"Eh?" Maka blinked at him. "But Soul managed to keep control!"

"But you both have the potential to resonate a lot higher," Stein took off his glasses and cleaned them on his jacket sleeve. "Even before the special training prior to the incident in London, your standard resonance rate was a lot higher. This is barely enough to summon a witch hunter."

"What? But I couldn't resonate any higher..." Soul scowled.

"You're blocking it. Probably subconsciously. Because you're missing something. At any rate, you're cleared for standard missions."

Maka made a noise of understanding that Soul didn't share. He felt supremely irritated. "Missing something? Missing _what_?"

"Figure it out," and with that, Stein shepherded him out the door and slammed it shut behind them. Soul kicked it.

"Soul..."

Soul took a deep breath, "I'm just annoyed. I finally thought I was going to be able to handle it..."

He suddenly remembered when Maka had run out on them in the middle of the party shortly before they went on the mission to London. "Maka, before the training, you said you'd 'figured out what you were missing' is that the same thing?"

"Hmm... probably," Maka said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"I don't think it'll work if I tell you," Maka said sheepishly. "It's not like something you memorize. Soul Resonance is a lot more abstract than that. Language isn't really designed to deal with things like this."

Soul vaguely remembered upon entering Shibusen one of the teachers vaguely explaining Soul Resonance. It had been mostly similes and metaphors that he couldn't quite understand. He'd been annoyed, until he'd resonated with Maka and understood that you simply _couldn't_ describe it accurately.

Soul grimaced, "I hate philosophy."

"Well," Maka grinned. "If I can figure it out, I'm sure a 'cool guy' like you can!"

_'I hope you're right...'_

* * *

_**A/N:**_ ... I like making Soul angst more? Gah, I'm tired. I just wanted to post again before I went to sleep. Not happy with how it turned out. (BTW my art blog has illustrations from this. There's a link on my deviantart page, which is linked to by my profile. I might actually put the link to my art bog on my profile later but I'm too tired right now.)


	10. Chapter Ten

_**Chapter Ten**_

_"I can't hear anyone's voice_

_They slip by like lies._

_Your words are the only thing,_

_That smash the darkness and stop time." _

_- _About U, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

_Soul had gotten pretty good at telling when he was dreaming by this point, no matter how real it got. Even though he was in a fair amount of pain, he knew he was dreaming. It was like his dream about the werewolf, except that was more of a flashback and everything happened exactly as it had really happened. Not like now._

_Italy again. Maka was refusing to do anything but dodge. He was telling her again that he was willing to die for his Meister and still she refused to block because then he'd be hurt. He knew what was coming, though his actions were in line with what had happened before, and he knew that he'd make the same choice no matter how many times he had to feel himself get cut. _

_And then the moment came._

_"What if you don't make it?"_

_The demon's voice. It wasn't supposed to be there. Not now. It wasn't until after. _

_"What if you can't transform fast enough?"_

_Maka..._

_"What if you let your fear get the best of you?"_

_He couldn't move._

_The demon sword cut his Meister from shoulder to hip, between her breasts. Blood was everywhere, pure red. Colour seemed to dim until all he could see was the red of her blood and the green of her wide, terrified and pained eyes as she slumped to the ground._

_"MAKA!"_

_This wasn't what happened. Why was he seeing this?_

_He stumbled over to her, sinking to his knees at her side. "Maka. Maka!"_

_He didn't care that the demon swordsman was above him ready to kill him. _

_"Maka!"_

_Her eyes slipped shut._

_He found himself in the Black Room. Shaking. The dream was realistic enough that he could feel his eyes burning and tears streaming down his cheeks and the pain of breathing too harshly. The demon was smirking again._

_"See what happens when you're afraid?"_

_"BASTARD!" _

_Soul seized the front of the demon's suit and punched him, hard. He punched him again, and again, until his fist was covered in a mixture of red and black blood and it ached terribly._

_Through broken teeth that would probably be fine by the next time he entered the room, the demon laughed. "You will never have to worry about that fear stopping you if you give in. You would always be prepared to take that blow."_

_Soul had already prepared to throw another punch, his fist pulled back, but he stopped almost against his will. It was suddenly tempting. He hated feeling so weak and powerless. He hated that every time he dreamed he had to watch Maka die._

_"It's time to leave the room."_

_Soul punched him one last time, stalked over to the armchair by the record, and plopped down with his arms crossed. "Like hell."_

* * *

He woke up after once again having somehow managed to be forced out of the room. "Damnit," he hissed. He was about to punch the wall, but a clank from the kitchen stopped him.

He took a deep breath, held it, and exhaled. They had a mission later today, low-level, accompanied by Black Star and Death the Kid. After the incident in London (_'Always us,'_ Soul grimaced) Shibusen had decided that for the time being all students were to go in teams of three Meisters and their weapons. Their first mission since Maka had been injured. Medusa-sensei had cleared her for missions and Stein had cleared _him_ for them. They should be able to handle this. It was fine...

Then why was he so worried?

* * *

Kid hadn't been their friend for very long, but he was a good guy. Sure, he was weird, but who was he to talk? Soul turned into a _weapon_ and had shark teeth. His best male friend had an ego bigger than Russia.

They were somewhere in Europe. He forgot where and didn't want to admit he'd forgotten and ask. It was just warm enough that the rain coming down in buckets wasn't ice, and they were all thoroughly soaked. Maka had taken off her coat to avoid being weighed down by the thick, wet material, and her pigtails were limp with water. Privately, Soul thought they all looked ridiculous Even Black Star's impossibly stuck-up hair was plastered to his face.

To make matters worst, it was also night, and the storm had knocked out the power in this section of the city.

"Oi! Anyone feel anything?"

Black Star was yelling over the wind, but it lacked his usual enthusiasm. Soul couldn't blame him for being a little bit miffed at the weather. Black Star could hear and see better than any of them, but that didn't do him much good in the dark and rain. Right now the only ones with any vague idea of what was going on were Kid and Maka, who had a more honed sixth sense.

"I don't sense anything nearby!" Kid shouted from somewhere to his right. If he squinted, Soul thought he could make out a black blur.

"I don't either!" Maka called. She'd grabbed his hand at some point to keep them from getting lost, so Soul could tell exactly where _she_ was, at least. "Maybe it's not- Wait! It's coming from ahead of us! Soul, change."

He obeyed instantly. She hefted him in preparation for battle as naturally as ever, but Soul could already tell that this was going to be harder than it had said on the board. Maka's hands were going numb and losing their mobility. He figured it was the same for the others.

It could get ugly. He was starting to worry as they waited for the kishin egg to get closer.

"There!" Kid shouted. Pink bursts of energy fired at a shadowy figure, illuminating the area. Black Star gave a triumphant yell when he could finally find their enemy. The pink glow of Kid's shots glinted off of Tsubaki as the assassin Meister streaked towards the kishin egg. The thing was quick, only two of Kids shots hit it, and they were merely grazes. By the time Black Star had swung, the kishin egg had already moved. That wasn't good. While the Meisters' mobility was limited, the kishin egg seemed to have no such difficulty.

"Let's go, Soul," Maka darted forward, swinging him in a long arc. It dodged, leaping over her slower-than-usual attack to swipe at her. Soul's heart seemed to stop. It was enough. His wavelength scrambled and jolted Maka's own. A suddenly-disoriented Maka jerked to the side enough that the kishin egg only grazed her shoulder. She swung her foot and caught it by surprise, and Black Star took that opportunity to slice it in half.

"Are you all right, Maka?" The pistols transformed back, and Kid closed the distance.

"Fine," Maka glanced at her shoulder. The rain was mixing with the blood and staining her sleeve a light pink. "Barely got me."

"Hey wait which one of us gets the soul?" Black Star demanded.

"Patti currently has one more than Liz. This would make it even."

"No way! It's mine!"

Soul returned to his human form, slouching more than usual. He'd screwed up again. He'd hesitated, just like in that damn dream. He'd been lucky and it had only been a graze but the next time it might not be...

_'Dammit!'_

"Soul?"

He blinked and looked up. Through the rain he could only just make out his Meister's concerned face. Kid and Black Star had stopped arguing and were looking at him. He wondered how long he had been standing there, angry at himself, and flushed.

"What's eatin' you?" Black Star raised an eyebrow. "You worried about that little scratch Maka got? 'Cause really, that's nothin."

"Could've been something," Soul muttered under his breath. "Anyway, let's go back. I can't feel my hands any more."

* * *

He stared up at his darkened ceiling that night, scowling at the rough dapples of paint and the faint window-shaped moonlight.

_'I have to fix this...'_

He couldn't keep hesitating like that in the middle of a battle. If the Technician or Weapon were unfocused, it interfered with the other's wavelengths. _His_ hesitance became _hers_ and that was dangerous. Hesitating in battle often costed people their lives. It could have cost them hers today.

Between that and his dream he couldn't sleep. He both couldn't bear to think about the dream and couldn't tear his mind away from it. Even now it made him want to tear something apart in his own anger and then start bawling like a baby, and every time he closed his eyes in the silence he could only see the streak of blood.

_'I have to fix this...' _but he still didn't know how. He had stopped trying to suppress his fear, like Tsubaki had said. Removed one problem but created another. Maka didn't hesitate. Why did he?

_"She doesn't let the fear control her, she lets it make her **stronger.**"_

Tsubaki's words floated back to him. With a jolt, he realized he didn't understand what she meant. He knew Maka's fears. It was impossible not to. Even while not resonating, simply being wielded by her was enough for him to feel her emotions. She didn't hesitate, no matter how terrified she got.

And she called _him_ strong.

He forced his mind to focus on the fight with the werewolf. When they resonated, he knew her thoughts as clearly as his own. What had she been thinking at that time?

_"I won't ever let it happen again!"_ And an image, of him getting slashed by the demon sword.

The answer was so simple he could have laughed, and he rolled over to get some sleep. The best sleep he'd had in a while.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Okay, so, I've got four illustrations from this on my art blog. I've set the blog up as my homepage. Go there! And leave comments! I am so lonely on my art blog! Nobody visits me there! :(


	11. Chapter Eleven

_**Chapter Eleven**_

_"See you in your dreams_

_Yeah baby... Even if it's a scary dream._

_Fairy Blue_

_For you I'll smash the stars." _

- Papermoon, Tommy Heavenly6

* * *

Soul was still yawning when they met Tsubaki and Black Star at the fountain in the middle of Death City.

Soul considered the idea of group shopping for the Anniversary celebration of Shibusen's founding to be more than a little bit uncool, especially since he had a perfectly good suit at home. He had a feeling he and Black Star were only along to carry stuff. They shared equally exasperated looks.

"Let's start this way," Maka beamed and pulled Tsubaki off towards a shop. "I saw a dress down that way that would look wonderful on you!"

"Eh? Really?"

Black Star and Soul followed at a slower pace. When they finally arrived at the shop, Maka and Tsubaki were already looking through the window at a white low-cut dress.

"It's a little low, but it would look great!" Maka enthused. Black Star raised an eyebrow at the dress.

"I could live with that," he muttered. Soul rolled his eyes at Black Star's shamelessness. Tsubaki and Maka went inside the shop, and Soul sank into the bench outside.

"Ugh, I hate parties."

"Why? There's free food!"

"Lines are too long," Soul grumbled. "Parties just aren't my thing."

"Huh..."

They waited about fifteen minutes before a blushing but pleased Tsubaki left the shop with an equally pleased Maka and a bag that Maka promptly pushed into Black Star's hands.

"There's another shop down that way, right?" Tsubaki pointed.

"Yeah, there is."

Resigned, both boys followed their partners down the street. Shopping for Maka was apparently harder than shopping for Tsubaki, because they went through at least three stores before finally Maka found one she thought she liked.

Soul had to admit (at least to himself) that it looked good on her. It was a blackish-purple spaghetti-strapped dress, which hid its shortness with a portion of purple lace. It was a casual-type dress, suiting the occasion.

Soul was wondering whether or not it was uncool that he preferred more formal clothing when his eye caught on a dress in the corner. A long, black sleeveless gown, the type of formal dress Soul favoured. Almost automatically, he imagined Maka wearing the dress, and he found himself going red. He couldn't imagine her willingly wearing it, though, not without sleeves. It would look good with semitransparent sleeves and black gloves...

"Soul, we're going!"

Maka had paid while he was distracted, and was waiting by the door, looking at him curiously, "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing!" Soul hurried after her.

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

_"A sound soul..._

_Resides in a sound mind..._

_And a sound body..."_

In a dimly lit street, something prowled, searching for its prey. It hungered, not for flesh, but for souls. It heard footsteps nearby. It sought the footsteps, hoping for a meal.

Something dropped to the ground behind it. The creature whirled to see a small shadowy figure, female, wielding a glinting red scythe.

"Your soul is mine!"

_Fin._


End file.
